When Doctor Who Won Me Over ~ Mar 22, 08:47 PM
First season of the 2003 Doctor Who. Episode three.
Zombies.
And the doctor gives Charles Dickens a hard time to his face about American Notes (which is complete rubbish).
Why Life Doesn't Work ~ Jan 11, 12:07 AM
Anyone who knows me knows I find fiction more palatable than reality a lot of the time. I dream in fiction, dream of characters, and sometimes think that my life is nothing more than a shitty Neil Gaiman story that never found its plot.
One of the top reasons why fiction is easier for me to handle than reality is foreshadowing. In a good piece of fiction (or even poetry and creative non-fiction) there is a strong theme and appropriate foreshadowing. There is Chekhov’s gun. Elements and themes introduced will be explored, often resolved, but at least addressed.
Remember waiting for the last season of the Sopranos when we all sat around talking about what we thought that they would do? We wondered about the Russian lost in the woods, and the repercussions of missing people, and any other plots that stuck out in our minds that had been left half-finished.
Then remember how they chose not to address any of that? They opted for an extended dream sequence and ambiguity. They opted for reality over good fiction.
My life has themes because I’m a pretty central character in it and I choose to find themes. But it doesn’t have a guarantee of exploration and closure. I lie awake thinking of the loose ends that should be tied up, of the shoes left to drop. Part of me realizes that these wil likely never come to fruition. Part of me sees this is why life is messier than I care to deal with.
Chekhov has left me fifty guns, and forgotten to tell me which ones are loaded.
I know that most of these story lines don’t go anywhere, and even more of them don’t go anywhere good. But the writer in me can’t stand unfinished business and the lack of a proper narrative structure.
I know where a good book is going. I haven’t a clue where any of this is leading at all.
One thing that reality and good fiction do have in common though is that every once in a while in a great book you are surprised by the turn of events. But when you look back carefully you realize it was the only thing the author could have done, it was what all the choices were really leading up to, and sometimes the right path is surprising.
In life, when I look back I see that everything has been leading up to this. Now if I only knew what this is?
Goodbye, Columbus ~ Dec 7, 12:37 PM
Just finished Philip Roth’s Goodbye, Columbus. Perfectly timed for this point of my life and the time of year, as 2008 slowing winds down, leaving me contemplating my life and my world.
As much as Catcher in the Rye should be read around the age of 16, this should be read around the age of 25. I’m amazed how very little has hanged about the quarter-life since 1959, almost exactly half a century.
Sure we aren’t as uptight about birth control, must of us reared to fell that contraceptives are life snow boots, it’s just the appropriate apparel for most situations. But sex wasn’t demonized by the young couple. It was an unspoken agreement, the way that I often find it still is when I meet someone I want to sleep with.
I’m reading it with my fiction workshop, and I’m the oldest in the class by three year physical years, and probably seven emotional years. I wish they could see what it would be like to read this once school has gone away. When there is nothing clear for them ont he to-do list.
Do we marry?
Is this job our career?
Is this our home?
Are these our families?
Is this the kind of love that I want to be forever?
Or is it all just another day.
If Catcher in the Rye is the quintessential book of our teenage years, surely this is the text that bridges the quarter-life crisis. The pure antithesis of being a teenager, where everything was life or death, now nothing is. Everything is gray and meaningless. And we are left feeling bereft of significance as each day tumbles into the next. Waiting for some real life to begin.
Sorry about the lack of posts, I’m trying to come up with a way to work around that. Things aren’t going to slow down for the next couple months, so until I figure out what I’m doing, I’ll do my best to post when I can.
Lots int he works. Lots indeed.
I’m working on 3 presentations today, to final exams, and a final portfolio. Plus I’m short 4 pages on a academic paper needed for a grad school app, and I’m still down two apps from being complete.
And I’m going to start work on a novella/novel/creative non-fiction/satire thing in between semesters, which means that if I stop leaving my house, it is purely due to trying to get 50,000 words done by March.
I’m a week and a half shy of finishing my fall semester. It’ll be my last fall semester as an undergrad.
There will be many posts working their way in to the beginning of 2009 about the passage of time and the growth I’m awaiting. Plus the long awaited Zombie Christmas poem I’ve been promising since 2006. That’s right, I’ve unearthed it, and it will finally be published here this year.
For more regular updates you can always check My Tumblr Acct. It even shows when this has been updated.
Okay back to the grindstone. More eventually.
first iphone post (I think) ~ Oct 17, 05:08 AM
okay, I’m still a bit slow going with the tiny touch keyboard, so we’ll see how practicle a method of posting this is. So far it ranks somewhere between carving clay tablets and sending you smoke signals. Also I should mention I’m on a bus , so everything is vibrating as well. Fun stuff.
Trying to think about things to post that aren’t election or grad school related. Very little. The first is probably the bittersweet change that happens every fall. I’ve been listening to a lot of Ani and feeling unreasonably heartbroken. Maybe nothing more than the loss of late evening sunlight and the leaves, but still I find myself pining all over the city, looking for something unidentifiable.
My friend’s wedding is next weekend. I’m maid of honor, and batting zero on touching toasts. So I’m going to get drunk this weekend and work on it. Best way to work on a wedding toast is inebriated, because that’s the audience you are playing for.
Figured out how to read books and short stories for free on the iPhone, great little app called Stanza. Yesterday I downloaded a stroy by Cory Doctrow, who I’ve been meaning to read for ages, a Vonnegut story, and a Lovecraft story. Very exciting stuff.
Okay, I’m irritated by posting like this. Next time carrier pigeons will bring you news of me.
Triumphs and Tribulations ~ Jun 22, 08:29 PM
I have seen the face of god. And that face is homemade Almond Butter.
It is freakishly easy to make, and it’s really good on bananas.
I also experimented with making a chili-lime salad dressing. Do you know what the funny thing is about chili powder? If you aren’t using a recipe you should probably know a bit about measurements because it’s some powerful stuff. My lips are still numb. I need to figure out something to cut the acidity of the lime juice in order to make it work. And of course way way less chili powder. I thought about using olive oil, but the extra virgin olive oil I’ve been using has an almost butter taste which I think clashes with the citrus.
You probably don’t care much about my coking escapes. But the beauty of Sundays is going to the Italian market and picking up things to enjoy throughout the week. In the greatest spice store I said to the gentleman scooping my macademia nuts for me that the spice store is the most dangerous store. It is endless possibilities in each container.
Apple finally did it. They finally pulled a microsoft. One of their firmwear updates makes it impossible for me to recognize my own airport. I’m irritated that it happened and irritated that it’s not a big enough problem for them to have fixed it yet.
Still looking for a good FAQ to explain what I need to do to change it.
Finished my James Joyce & Flannery O’Connor course. I know some people expressed curiosity in how the professor would draw the two together. He really left it up to us to draw our own conclusions on their similarities leaving us with all of the reading and the knowledge that O’Connor was a huge fan of Joyce.
Their both founders of modern lit in their own different ways, both utilized satire in different ways, both critiqued their home towns to every minute flaw. But for me it was the “scrupulous meanness” of their work that created the most common ground.
I learned a lot in the course. I enjoyed O’Connor more, but found Joyce more useful in illuminating my own life. His desire to show the moral paralysis in Dublin really showed me my own moral paralysis. It’s largely what led to me not drink for this past month as I recalibrate my moral compass.
Windows are open and the girls downstairs are doing laundry. The sweet smell mixes perfectly with the summer night air and wafts in near imperceptibly to my apartment. I can’t imagine anyone who doesn’t feel safe and a little happier when they smell laundry, but then again I get depressed when I see flowers so who am I to judge your baggage.
I haven’t posted pics in a while but with my weekends being taken up with finals and cooking (or rather prepping and dehydrating raw foods) I haven’t been out with the camera. I really want to go shoot the italian market, but I can’t go and not shop and it takes both hands to shop. One of my long time dreams has been to have someone to wake up with Sunday mornings in this apartment and to grab coffee and head up the market together to poke the produce and heckle the butchers.
Oh silly fantasies of other people in this existence.
Point being pictures again soon. Maybe just pictures of my smoothies and stuff.